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up to what really went on here, I ll gladly accept your apology. He began to walk
towards the front door, then turned to face his friend one last time. But don t make the
mistake of thinking that just because I m going to forgive you easily that Sarah will.
You ll be a very lucky man if that woman ever takes you back, Jed.
When he left Jed sank into a chair in a contemplative silence. He just sat there at the
dinette for a long, long time, running the scene that had devastated his life through his
head as he ran his fingers through his rumpled hair. Could he have been mistaken about
what he saw? No, his mind rebelled against that thought and the terrible repercussions
if he were wrong. She had been wrapped in Curry s arms there was no writhing, no
struggling, no outward signs that she wasn t enjoying it just as much he was.
Jed was sick at heart thinking about it, concentrating on the pain, reliving it over and
over like worrying a sore tooth. He knew from prior experience that tormenting himself
with shoulda, woulda, coulda s would drive him crazy. She had made her choice, and
he was damned if he d get down on his knees and beg her to come back to him. It
bothered him that he had even thought of that; why should he want Curry s leftovers?
Or was he so far gone that he d be happy to have her any way he could?
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he systematically set about banishing everything
from his mind except all of the jobs he had neglected around the ranch in favor of
spending more time with his with Sarah. With a little work therapy , they would all
get done, and his life would return to the way it had been before they had become close
lonely and dull, but focused where it would forever remain from this day forward
his ranch. It took and took and took, giving back its own rock steadiness.
Eventually, he knew, his life might even become pain free, if he lived long enough. Or
at least he would learn how to manage the pain by forcing it into a dark corner of his
mind to only be relived in dreams or infrequent drunken bouts. Or whenever he saw her
on the street. Or heard a woman laugh. Or watched Bugs Bunny, or Star Trek. Or ate . .
. No more calling her in the middle of the night just to talk, no more early morning
commando raids on the fridge after a long night spent in a wonderful, warm tangle of
arms and legs. No more taking care of her, no more her taking care of him.
No more love.
He had never felt so alone and bereft in his life. Not when his Mother died. Not when
his Father died. Not when Cheryl left. Until Sarah, he hadn t known what it was like to
be truly loved. And even that had turned out not to be real. Resolutely, Jed dressed in
work clothes and jammed his hat down onto his head, stepping out into the brightness
of the day with a wince. But he trudged on, trying unsuccessfully to bury his heartache
in backbreaking work.
When he returned to Sarah s house, Eric found her exactly where he had left her. He
didn t think that she had moved a muscle. No, check that. She had begun to rock herself
back and forth, and he didn t think this was a good sign. Eric sent her upstairs to get
dressed, and when she came down, he had a light meal ready for her. Sarah barely at
two bites, but at least it was something.
He hated to leave her alone, but he had some stuff to do at work that couldn t be put
off. Eric called Lily, and asked her to come over after she finished work at five. Lily
was glad to help and didn t ask too many questions when he told her the situation was
complicated.
Are you sure you ll be ok? You could always come with me, you know.
She took a swallow of the diet coke he offered, but wouldn t look at him directly. I ll
be fine, she assured him huskily from where she was curled up forlornly on the couch,
but her sad demeanor did nothing to set his mind at ease. He left her there reluctantly,
promising to call as frequently as he could, and repeating that Lily would be there some
time after five.
Sarah just sat on the couch like a bump on a log, trying desperately not to feel anything
with little to no success. Just when she thought she had cried as much as her body
would allow, she found her eyes overflowing again. The phone rang, startling her, but
she just let the machine pick it up even though she didn t need to continue that habit
since Curry was probably still in jail.
This is Linda down at the hospital, Sarah. I just thought I d let you know that Jed was
just brought in with a couple of broken ribs. He s ok, getting bandaged right now and
we ll keep him over night just for observation. I bet you re already on your way, but I
figured in case you weren t you d want to know. The voice laughed gaily. I was
surprised that you weren t with him, considering that you two are surgically attached at
the hip, lately. See you down here!
She was already up and grabbing for a coat when he remembered that he probably
wouldn t want to see her. The thought made her hesitate for all of a second. She needed
to see him, just to make sure for herself that he was truly all right, and that was exactly
what she was going to do.
The admitting nurse knew her, too the curse of a small town only no one knew the
whole truth, so she was ushered up like she and Jed were an old married couple, which
they would never be now. The room was dark, and Jed was lying on his back, his head
turned away from her. Sarah drew a breath and gulped at the sight of his bare chest. He
might not have Curry s perfect features, but, even laid up, he attracted her like a
magnet. She walked slowly further into the room, careful not to make a sound and
disturb him. It was almost enough just to be in the same room with him, but not quite,
especially knowing what he thought of her. Maybe he d give her a chance to explain . . .
Jed must ve sensed her presence, because just as she approached the side of his bed his
head turned and he immediately glowered up at her.
Sarah smiled tentatively. Hi, Jed. I just wanted
I don t give a damn what the hell it is you wanted, Ms. Jenkins, he snarled nastily in a
tone that made it hard for her to remember how gentle he could sound sometimes.
You d better get out of here before I throw you out bodily. Apparently I didn t make
myself clear enough before I left your house, but let me clarify things now: I don t ever
want to see you again. You were a great lay, but that doesn t give you the right to come
here and offer me sloppy seconds while you profess that I m the love of your life.
Horrified, Sarah began to back away from him at his biting words. Get out of my
sight, slut, and if you know what s good for you, you ll make damn sure I never lay
eyes on you again. Got it? She could hear him yelling those last few phrases at her as
she ran down the hall with her hand over her mouth, trying to stem the tide of tears at
least until she got back to her car. She was only moderately successful.
For a long while, she merely hyperventilated and sobbed as she sat dazed behind the
wheel, then she finally gathered her wits about her enough to drive home, slowly, like
the little old lady she felt like.
When she got home, Sarah immediately changed into her jammies and an old battered
but favorite housecoat, curling up on the couch unrepentantly with a whole pint of Ben
and Jerry s Mystic Mint ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other, but she could
only force down two or three bites between the tears. It all tasted like ashes, anyway.
When Lily arrived hours later, the whole pint was ice cream soup on the coffee table,
and Sarah had sought comfort in the oblivion of sleep, looking wan and delicate on the
couch.
Eric didn t think that Sarah would mind if he filled Lily in on what had happened
between her and Jed, so he did. She wasn t there with Sarah for very long by herself,
because Eric came by as soon as he could after work. Sarah was up, picking at a
sandwich Lily had made for her and looking twenty years older than she had a day ago.
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